I mean, like, really? #

Some people start speaking by saying, “I mean.” There is no context, no reference, just a clear indication that what they are about to say is something they mean to say. In a way, this is great; they just skipped past the confusing part and went straight for the clear and concise summary that others would take minutes of formulation to achieve. Perhaps it shows that they were confused themselves, and now they are back on track, ready to speak with full intention.

Others put the word “really” in every other sentence. They are not kidding. What they are pointing to is not the watered-down version that I might be expecting. Instead, it is the actual thing, to the fullest extend. Perhaps they were losing me? The story did indeed feel a little weak, but I am back on track now that I got an excellent indication of the depth of the truth.

Then there is the word “like.” Much has been said about this already. There is also the rhetorical “right?” and the conclusive “So..” They have chipped away at my speech for quite a while.

I’m giving out an honorable mention for “etcetera etcetera” and “and what not?”. These expressions take me into the vast unknown, repackaged as a solid extension of any argument. They are the homework that will give me a complete understanding once I sit down by myself and list all the other reasons that the person did not have time to mention.

In a similar vein, I often hear “stuff” and “things”; words that are great for saying very little. They invite me to engage in a deep level of trust that what they mean is substantial yet cannot be captured in a word or two. Also, an invitation into the sloppy space where you can say a few things and then have someone else tell a few more, after which some other stuff can happen.

Somehow, this must add up to something. Is it just the dilution of speech? Many big and hollow words, filling the silence with terms that might or might not be relevant? Somehow it must go beyond the rushed, the unaware, and the insecure. Perhaps it is a code transmitted alongside the main message, by the unconscious, for the unconscious.

Maybe that’s what communication is: “Hey, I am trying to say something. You go figure out what that is.”